Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Devotional from today (Thinking)

My Sister and I are reading these devotional posts of Elizabeth Elliot's and discussing what we learn. I found the first section sad and ( convicting? thought provoking?). Are we teaching people to communicate? Do I find I have brought trouble to my own mind, will, or emotions by careless speech? Am I practicing self-control & working on thoughtful, purposeful communication?!

It reminded me of some verses:
Proverbs 10:19 - In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.
Ecclesiastes 5:3 - For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's voice is known by a multitude of words.
Proverbs 22:23- Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tounge keepeth his soul from troubles.


Careless speech can be confusing, harmful and cause misunderstandings. I know I've thought I was being helpful explaining something in great detail when all I did was confuse by talking too much. Oh that I will practice what I know I should do.

.http://www.backtothebible.org/devotions/authors_attic/elliot
Thinking / Speaking

Question-and-answer is a vanishing art. We are so drowned and smothered and deafened by panels, dialogues, rap sessions, discussions, talk shows, and other such exercises in the pooling of ignorance that, far from developing the art of asking questions and giving answers, we have very nearly lost it altogether. The time allotted for a program must, it seems, be filled--it doesn't much matter with what.

When is the last time you heard a clear, short question asked and a straight answer given? My heart sinks when it is announced that, following the lecture, there will be time for discussion. People put up their hands, but it turns out that it is not information they are after at all. They want the floor. They go on and on.

I was one of the panel of experts (i.e., married women) discussing the subject of marriage in a college women's dormitory a few years ago. Afterward there were lots of questions. But it was hard to figure out just what the questions were. Here is one of them (verbatim--I did not make this up. It was taped and then transcribed): .

* Um--like--um--I have a couple questions. Do you think--like--that--uh--do you think a woman could have a call just to be--like--a wife, but not--like--not just to be a wife--like, say, you know--if you're gonna be personal--like--my own engagement--like--I have a gift of--you know--a talent in music, you know--like--I mean, I know you're not saying--like--you know, especially in that case, I mean, you're saying more like--you have--like--I think our greatest thing in common probably is--um--is that--you know--is the dedication to serve God--you know--in the desire to, to follow--you know--to do his leading and--like--neither of us, you know, and especially in this kind of life you don't have a blueprint of what you--what he's gonna be doing necessarily, you know--and I'm just kinda concerned because like--you know--I've even thought about that cause I've kinda had a conflict--you know--growing up that way--you know--I'm talented musically--you know--so therefore I should probably look for somebody that's talented musically but he--he likes it--you know--I mean, he doesn't understand it totally but I'm sure we could live happily together with it, you know, but I don't expect him to have a--you know--yearning to go to all the Beethoven concerts or anything--you know--but I mean--I've heard of very happy marriages where--you know--there's quite different--you know--interests--you know--there.

(I apologize for not knowing the rules of punctuation for this kind of English.) Nobody on the panel knew what the girl was asking. She was confused--that came through loud and clear, but she might have seen through some of the fog simply by making the effort to clarify and shorten her question.


Sometimes I have been tempted to tell the audience that only questions of twenty-five words or less will be entertained. But I don't want to put people off any more than I can help.

William Strunk, Jr., in his wonderful little book, The Elements of Style, gives this advice:

To air one's views at an improper time may be in bad taste. If you have received a letter inviting you to speak at the dedication of a new cat hospital, and you hate cats, your reply, declining the invitation, does not necessarily have to cover the full range of your emotions. You must make it clear that you will not attend, but you do not have to let fly at cats... Bear in mind that your opinion of cats was not sought, only your services as a speaker. Try to keep things straight.


Americans dearly love to be polled for opinion. They feel that they ought to have opinions, to "hold views," on everything, and polls give them a chance to let fly. It is interesting to note how small a percentage of those polled admit to having "No opinion."


If the answer is Yes, say Yes. If it's No, say No. (The Bible will back me up here.) If it's I don't know, say that--if you possibly can! My daughter had a classmate in the seventh grade who, when asked a question by the teacher, never raised his chin off his hand, but looking into space said glumly, "I don't know." To a second question he replied, in the same laconic tone, "I don't know that either." I couldn't help wanting to know which boy that was. I liked him. It was discouraging for the teacher, I'm sure, that he didn't know, but it was not nearly so discouraging to hear him say so in three words as it would have been to hear three hundred words which came to the same thing. Every day in the mass media we have to listen to palaver, twaddle, and balderdash which, when interpreted, means "I don't know."


Some people are constitutionally incapable of admitting they don't know. "Well, let's just say I don't know the answer to that one," a woman once said to me.

Great people, however, can often disarm us completely with a candid acknowledgment such as Samuel Johnson's when asked by an indignant woman whatever made him define pastern as he did in his lexicon. "Ignorance, madam, pure ignorance!"

The Quechua Indians of Ecuador have a way of dropping the corners of their mouths, thrusting out their chins, and gazing off across the treetops, saying "Hmm hmm?" which is supposed to convey the impression that the matter is a mysterious one which they are in on but which would really be beyond you. At other times they come up with ineluctable answers like the one a missionary got when he wanted to know the name of a tree with yellow flowers on it. The Indian studied the tree for a little while, shading his eyes with his hand, and then said earnestly, "Well, I'll tell you, Senor Eduardo. That tree over there, the one you point to, the tree with the yellow flowers on it--that tree, Senor Eduardo...we call The Yellow Flower Tree."


The late W. H. Auden once appeared on a television interview and it was delicious to see his interviewers thrown completely off balance by the clarity and the brevity of his answers. They had their questions carefully worked out and the timing approximated, but long before the show was over they were casting about for new questions. ; } When they asked if he thought of poetry as a means of self-expression, he said, "No, not at all. You write a poem because you have seen something which seems worth sharing with others." The ideal reaction from the reader is, 'I knew that all along, but I never realized it.' He could, I am sure, have lectured for an hour on that one subject, but he didn't. He had a sense of occasion.


"You will be living in Oxford, England, Mr. Auden. Do you expect to be teaching there?"

"No."

"You won't be teaching. (Pause.) Well, Mr. Auden, as you move into the more--shall we say--mellow years, would you say that you have any unfulfilled ambitions?"

"No."

One of my unfulfilled ambitions was to hear a simple answer on a TV talk show. Thank you, Mr. Auden.

4 comments:

JFC said...

A very thoughtful post.

It is so easy to see the problem of careless speech in the example of the college student's question.

But it's not so easy to see that being helpful explaining something in great detail can actual end up confus[ing] by talking too much. I fear that this hits a little close to home (and I'll be pleased for you to stop stepping on my toes).

Seriously, how do we draw the line between what is helpful, and what is excessive? Just by noting the scope of the question? But what if you think the question doesn't really get to the heart of what the listener is inquiring about? When is it good to answer the question you think they were really asking, but didn't even know how to ask, and when should you stop with answering the question as asked?

A. Victoria said...

Those are good questions. I am learning these concepts by trail and error relying on the Lord. It is an on going process. :-) It needs to be with God's wisdom that we even open our mouth to answer a question.

I think the answering length would depend on the person and situation, as you touched on in your comment. We need to be sensitive to that person & the situation. At the same time if we are passionate about an issue a little of that passion should come out. I guess if you do not know what to do, err with answering the actual question and encourage then to ask more questions.

If you have any insight I would appreciate your thoughts.

M J said...

Excessive words exceed what is necessary. The necessity is derived by what is needed to accomplish the intended purpose. This is determined through wisdom and understanding with discretion.


Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: (Jas 1:19)

Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. (Col 4:5)

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. (Jas 1:5)

The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion. A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels: To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings. (Pr 1:1-6)


Talking about concise, this is a remarkably complete summary, yet the entire scriptures are still given, not just this summary.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. (Mt 22:37-40)

A. Victoria said...

MJ, Thank you for sharing those verses and thoughts. I almost put some of those verses in my comment, but decided not to. I am glad that you did. Thank you for sharing the Truth.:-)

Walk in wisdom, love God, love those around you, and think before you speak (the wisdom part again). Thank you. :-)