Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Things to do.....

I thought that these were amusing. Some of them I really liked, others I found funny, and some are just there.:) Enjoy...

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. (amen, I like that.)
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. That is so importan!!!
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. I am not sure I like that idea. :-)
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love ! deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" (or I have been programmed with limited answers you must ask the right question)...:-)
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. It is true.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
TWENTY-TWO. Spend time everyday with the Lord.

Friday, July 01, 2005


I have been thinking about a subject that I haven't heard talked about all that much.....Friendship between opposite genders. Everyone wants to have friends, but how does a friend behave? Here are some things I've been thinking over.
First, friends of opposite genders do not ever need to become romantic. I have heard over and over again cases of people that start out "friends", and then one of them gets upset with the other for not caring about them romantically. Girls especially..... You need to stop romanticizing. You need to look at this guy as a brother. He is your friend and he has trusted you to view him as such. He has opened up and been himself with you because of this trust. Have the integrity to keep your emotions under control. Emotions are fine if they are subjected to the teaching of the scriptures and brought under the control of the Holy Spirit. Be honest with yourself before the Lord. You are being selfish, unkind, and unloving, and dishonest when you romanticize about your friend. Shame on you!!! Stop and think about how you would want him to treat & think of you. You would want him to care about you as a sister and protect you, physically, spiritually & emotionally. You would want to be able to count on trusting him to be a brother to you. You would not want him to use you as an easy date. That is what you are doing when you romanticize about him, and sir , that is what you are doing to her when you flirt, lead her on & have no intention to commit to anything. Both of you need to stop and think about what you would really like from the other person. Girls, if he changes his mind and wants the relationship to become romantic, he will tell you. Believe that when he told you he wants to be your brother in Christ that he meant exactly that, and nothing more. Believe the last thing he told you! Guys please do not do this "she should just know how I feel" thing. Tell her if you are wanting to keep the relationship on a friendship/brother/sister plane. Tell her if you are wanting to become more then friends. You are supposed to make that move, not her, so make it. Either way you should tell her what you want the relationship to be. Communication is vital in friendships. You have got to take a moment to explain to each other where you are going and what you are wanting out of your friendship. I heard a quote that I think makes this point beautifully. “60% of all communication is miscommunication.” For all of you that know me, you are probably really tired of me saying this, but it is so true.:)) It is easy to think you are making perfect sense when in reality you are not making any sense to the person you are trying to converse with. Take the time to explain things; you will be glad you did later.

Second-- You may notice I do not call it " just friends ". THIS is on purpose. Friends can be one of the best things you ever have in life. The friendship in itself is a treasure! Friends accept you as you are and can become the brother or sister you never had. They are the person with whom you can share what the Lord is doing in your life, and they don't think the worse of you for it. (Within reason, there are some things you should NEVER share with the opposite gender. Stay within guidelines of friends.) A friend is someone that knows the bad and the good and still wants to maintain the relationship. They may have been hurt by you and had to forgive you and it may have been the other way around as well. You can call them and just say hi. Friends are your pals, your teachers, and your support team. They are a treasure that we only have for a short, golden time. Do not overlook this and take them for granted.

Third-- When you have friends you should let them know when they do something to hurt you. If it was a family member you would, and you should in this situation as well. If you hurt them you should go to them. They are your family in Christ. You should be willing to listen and learn from your mistakes. We all continue to learn and make adjustments.

Fourth-- If you can't talk and you have to run, a friend understands and lets you go. They are okay with the fact that you are out with someone else for the evening and you need to run. Friends are open and honest. They do not hide things in the shadows and act funny around one another. That only breeds distrust and confusion, as well as hurt. Your friendship should be something you hold in open hands because over time it will have to change. A close friend may become engaged and need to concentrate on this new relationship; they may have a number of other close friends and one might need extra attention for a time. At the same time you should take care of the friendship. It should not be taken for granted; It needs to be maintained, and we need to allow it to 'sharpen' us. One of the hardest things in life is having friends you can be yourself around. I know you are thinking I said it backwards, but I didn’t. When you choose to be yourself with someone you are opening yourself up to hurt. That is frightening. When you do so though, others will begin to feel that they can be themselves. Be someone that others can trust to be themselves around and trust with their peculiarities.

If you find a friend to be untrustworthy in an area pray, & look for a way of sharing that with them. They may not be aware of it. There are people it is very hard to be myself around. I am afraid that they will think I am weird, loud, crazy, too quiet, or bizarre. Basically, I am just afraid and that is wrong of me. If I want those that I am friends with to be open with me and trust me, I need to do the same with them. God tells us in the scripture not to seek our own selfish wants and needs, but to seek God's best for others. Friendship should be this charitable practice of giving oneself and seeking to bless our friend. The Lord will bless in ways we can not see, nor fathom, when we are willing to obey him.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not: charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth. Beareth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth:

How does a friend behave? In all circumstances we are instructed to behave with Charity. It is given to us as a guide for personal interaction and a visible way to show God's perfect love. Love never fails